Mr Death. February 11, 2016 – Posted in: Everyday Living
It’s been 1,103 days since my elder sister passed away in an unfortunate and unnecessary car accident. It’s caused me to think about death a lot recently. I call him Mr Death (I just know death must be a man without a face)
I’ve been having dark thoughts lately. Imaginations you may call it.
I imagine driving out and crashing and burning.
I imagine saying goodbye to a loved one and never seeing them again
I start to withdraw from said loved one so i start to prepare now for the inevitable
But then i try to remind myself to remember that live is for the living in the present.
I try to snap back to the here and now and then it creeps back in slowly
Death is so final, no negotiations. I’m not used to not being able to negotiate
Due to that; death makes me weak. I have no power over it
I can’t bargain and strike a deal with Mr Death.
I can’t manipulate him the way one can manipulate Mr’s.
And this makes me feel like i have no control
People have died in the comfort of their homes, at their work place, in schools and church even.
So where can’t Mr Death get into?
Where can i find safety from this?
It gives me a hollow feeling. A helpless one.
It makes me want to cry.
Sometimes i want to meet Mr Death and talk to him; ask him certain questions
Then it occurs to me that no one meets him twice.
And then i want to cry again.
It’s sad to think that no matter what you achieve, the height you attain, the challenges you face, Mr Death could just be round the corner
The billionaires, the scientists, the everyday people with a zeal to survive have not discovered a way to fight this.
Death is so final.
I don’t have grand imaginations on how i want to die; but i know how i don’t want to die; I don’t want to die as a basic being, I don’t want to die being mediocre, I want to have a legacy, I want to have truly lived before i die.
I have to remind myself to remember to live. I may not be able to control the when’s and how’s of death but i can certainly control the when’s and how’s of MY LIFE. So i am going to focus on that.
As Cliché as it may sound, Life is too short. Do the things that make you happy and do them often. Live everyday as if it were your last; LIVE as much as you can while you can.
Spread love x Light